When someone asks for a favor, do you immediately say “yes” even if it disturbs your plans? Do you agree to things you don’t want to do because you fear disappointing others? Sounds familiar? Overtime this pattern can exhaust you. That’s the reality of people pleasing many of us fall into, without realizing how much it is affecting our mental health.
People-pleasing may seem kind, after all, what’s wrong with wanting others to be happy? But when your desire to please others comes at the cost of your mental health, it’s time to take a closer look.
How does people pleasing affect mental health?
While people-pleasing may temporarily avoid conflict, it often comes with long-term effects on your mental health. Here’s how:
- Burnout
Saying “yes” to everyone means you’re likely overcommitting yourself, leaving a little room for yourself. This cycle of giving without receiving leads to burnout, which can manifest as weakness and irritation. - Loss of self
When you’re always pleasing others, you lose your own opinions and desires. Over time, this can lead to confusion about who you truly are. - Anxiety and overthinking
People-pleasers often worry about what others think. The fear of upsetting someone or not meeting expectations can trigger anxiety and overthinking. - Unhealthy boundaries
If you don’t set clear boundaries, others may take advantage of your kindness. This creates frustration, which can affect relationships and your overall wellbeing.
Why you should stop people-pleasing?
Letting go of people-pleasing doesn’t mean you care less about others, it means caring for yourself too. Learning to say “no” is not selfish, it’s an act of protecting your mental health.
- Mental clarity: Constantly seeking approval clouds your focus. Focusing on what’s important becomes easier when you let go of unnecessary burdens.
- Boosts confidence: Making decisions based on your needs instead of others’ expectations boosts your self-esteem.
- Healthier relationships: Setting boundaries and saying “no” when necessary earns you respect and promotes honesty in your relationships.
How to stop people-pleasing?
- Connect the dots: Take note of events where you’re saying “yes” out of guilt or the desire to be liked rather than a genuine response.
- Start saying “No”: Start small, and politely decline things that feel overwhelming. This will gradually improve your self-confidence.
- Ask for help: If people-pleasing feels hard to let go of, consider contacting a mental health professional. They can help you understand the underlying causes and teach you healthier habits.
Take the first step today!
Your mental health matters. Focus on your health and inculcate good habits. Download Saksham now to access tools and resources for your mental well-being.